The mind can be a fickle beast. There are times when there would be no gain from trying to say anything, as it would always be corrupted by other, unimportant matters. So there are times when silence is best.

But the silence must end at some time, within the bounds of existence, at least. A side thought is whether, for the meaning of being, silence has the same status as darkness; the place of anxiety and terror, of shame and guilt. In which case, the saying would have the same status as light, as transcendent in itself. merely a speculation.

You were asking why you exist. You could have a purpose, or a primal cause in mind. There is a problem with the idea of a primal cause (a divine purpose, if you like), an original intention outside you, which you were created to realise. That problem is that such an intention, if it did exist, must be unknowable. You may complain that, even if this were so, through contemplation and sincere reflection, it can be possible to work out what that purpose might be. But to say this requires that you already assume the existence of that purpose. For some, this might be acceptable, for others, it cannot be.

Then you have to ask; from where, if I contemplate the divine purpose as a possibility, does my understanding come? Regardless of if the purpose is real or imagined, the understanding of the purpose has to come from you. You are the person who does the understanding. It is your consciousness of your being which is considered and which does the considering. If the divine purpose is imagined, this is where the source of it is; in the conscious understanding of yourself. if the divine purpose is not imagined, but is real, it can only come to light through the selfsame process. So there will always be doubt; am I sure that this is the correct interpretation of my ‘purpose’? Have I understood correctly.

You can see, though, that it would make no real difference; whether the purpose is imagined or real, you consciousness, your understanding, belongs to you. You are the source of the bringing-to-light of such a meaning. In other words, a search for divine purpose is of no greater or lesser value than a search for a personal, immediate and secular ‘purpose’. For this reason, I say to you, can you put aside the question of the divine? For you, this question may require an answer at some stage, but the answer isn’t needed now. Which leaves us with the question: ‘Does my life have a purpose?’

In the sense that you imagine that you may have been created to fulfil a specific purpose – a destiny – the answer must be no. To assume this is to assume that the future is set, or at least, your defining identity is set, prior to your existing. This cannot be; more accurately, it cannot be known. If it cannot be known, then it must be set aside. The meaning of your existence is not to be found in the puzzle of a destined purpose. You can create a story of your being which incorporates a purpose, but it must always be an interpretation, a metaphor. It may inform your actions and decisions, may influence the way you exist in the world, but it always remains only as your version, your story of yourself. For some, this can be enough, for others, the search for the meaning of being must continue.

Whichever you are, be loved.